Garfield Chews the Fat
by Ellis97
Summary: In these new installment of the Garfield series, Garfield and Odie have a lot of fun using their imagination, Orson tries to cure Wade of his cowardice and Jon tries to put a leash on Garfield.
1. The Box O'Fun

**Author's Note:**

 **Time for another episode of the Garfield and Friends Show. But first, here's a little song for you! Sing along if you know the words.**

 **Friends are there...**

 **To help you get started, to give you a push on your way!**

 **Friends are there...**

 **To turn you around, to get your feet on the ground for a brand new day!**

 **They'll pick you up when you're down.**

 **Help you swallow your pride with something inside, helps you break on through to the other side.**

 **Friends are someone you can open up to...**

 **When you feel like you're ready to flip!**

 **When you've got the world on your shoulders...**

 **Friends are there to give you a tip!**

 **Friends are there when you need them, they're even there when you don't.**

 **For a walk in the park, or a shot in the dark, friends are there!**

 **I don't care!**

 **But friends will care, for yoooooouuuuu!**

 **Whoo!**

 **Garfield: Don't change your favorite author. I'm the best series in town.**

 **And now, time for the show!**

* * *

Our story opens at the Arbuckle house where we see Jon carrying a large box of books.

"Garfield!" Jon shouted "I'm home."

Garfield was lying down on the table "I kind of figured that out already."

"I need some piece and quiet Garfield." Jon told his cat "I have to study for that test at night school. I'm gonna be learning to speak a language I haven't heard of."

"English perhaps." Garfield rolled his eyes.

"I need total silence Garfield." Jon walked into his office "I'm going to go study. Now don't make any racket."

"Racket?" Garfield turned his head around "Me? Would never dream of it."

Garfield saw the box and jumped right into it. He used his front paws in the same posistion as a driver.

"We're back in action at the world championship time trials!" He fantasized.

Garfield was fantasizing all about him being in a race car race.

"We're back at the world champion at the 31st annual time trials." he said in his thoughts "Enzio Volmort, Number 34 is in the lead."

Garfield stepped on the gas pedals and he passed all of the other cars and was in the lead.

"And the crowd goes wild." he kept driving.

The whole crowd kept cheering for Garfield.

"Yes," Garfield kept driving "Enzio's in the lead, but Enzio is now hungry. He must make a pitstop."

Garfield turned back and went to a place with burgers and quickly grabbed a shake.

He went back to driving "Number 34 is gaining on him, but is Enzio worried?"

Suddnely, Garfield's car went out of control. "Of course he's worried! His car is just out control! Will he make it?"

Just then, Garfield's car was getting close to the finish line when all of a sudden-

"Garfield!" Jon shouted "Have you seen my other book?"

"Great" Garfield covered his head.

"Oh there it is" Jon grabbed the book. "Remember Garfield, no noise."

"Ruined the whole race!" Garfield hissed.

As soon as Jon left, Garfield jumped back into the box.

"Roger over and out," he grabbed a cup "Read one. Ignition! Roger over and out, and fancy talk like that."

Garfield was imagining he was flying a plane and soaring all over the sky.

"Uh oh" he looked at the sky "Looks like I've got trouble."

Some other fighter planes were flying right towards Garfield and he imagined that he was shooting down the planes. However, the box/plane started sputtering.

"Oh no" he gulped "I'm outta gas. I knew I shouldn't have bought unleaded."

Suddenly, Garfield and the plane started falling right down.

"I'm going down" Garfield covered his eyes "Looks like I'm done for."

"Garfield!" Jon interrupted Garfield's fantasy "Don't you hear Odie? Didn't you hear Odie wanting to be let in?"

Jon opened the door to let Odie in.

"Ruff! Ruff" Odie ran inside.

"Please," said Jon "No more interuptions!"

"What was I doing?" Garfield looked at Odie "I was just playing with this-"

Garfield turned around and saw Odie in the box.

He jumped into the box and pushed Odie out "This is mine."

Odie jumped back into the box.

"Get out!" Garfield pushed Odie back out.

Odie jumped back in.

"Get out!" Garfield pushed Odie out again.

Odie jumped back in.

"Out!" He pushed Odie back out.

Odie jumped back in.

"Fine" Garfield sighed "You can stay in the box."

Garfield then imagined himself and Odie in the middle of the sea.

"We're lost at sea comrade." he looked at Odie. "We are lost without water or food."

"Ruff?" Odie barked.

"All I can think about is food" Garfield started moaning. "I can't live without it. Everywhere I look, there's food. In fact, you're starting to look like a club sandwich with roast beef and ham and lettuce and-"

Odie licked Garfield.

"Yuck!" Garfield gacked "Whoever heard of tounge in a club sandwich?"

Just then, Garfield and Odie fell right off the table in the box.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Jon came back into the living room.

He saw Garfield and Odie on the floor with the box.

"Okay, that does it!" Jon folded his arms.

Jon put Garfield and Odie out into the backyard.

"I'm sorry boys, but I need to study" he told the cat and dog.

As soon as Jon got into the house, he went to get back to studying.

"Playing with a cardboard box" he said to himself "How pathetic."

Then, Jon saw the box and thought for a moment. He put it on his head.

"What ho, black knight?" he started to daydream "Take that you fiend! For Queen Elizabeth, for King Arthur! Touche!"

Garfield and Odie were watching the whole thing from the window.

"Boy" he looked at Jon "Some guys have all the fun."

Garfield and Odie jumped into an empty trash can.

"Come on Odie," he looked at Odie "Time to get into orbit!"

Garfield and Odie both started fantasizing that they were astronauts.

6

5

4

3

2

1

BLAST OFF!

Garfield and Odie were off to wherever their imagination would take them.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **See? Garfield sure has an active imagination! Now let's go and see what Orson and his friends are doing at US Acres. Stay tuned!**


	2. Wade the Brave

Our story opens on the US Acres barnyard where we see Wade walking to the barnyard wall talking to someone.

"Hi Wade" said someone from inside the barn.

"Who's that?" he asked "Orson? Roy? Booker? Sheldon?"

"You're afraid of the unknown aren't you?" asked the voice.

"Who isn't?" Wade asked.

"You don't know me" said the voice.

Wade turned around and saw Orson, Roy, Booker and Sheldon right behind him.

"AAAHHHH!" Wade ran away.

"Boy," said Booker "Uncle Wade is afraid of everything around him."

"I wish he wasn't such a big baby" Sheldon added.

"Maybe he doesn't have to be" said Orson.

"What're you saying daddy?" asked Booker.

"There's a book I've been reading on hypnosis" Orson explained "Maybe I can hypnotize Wade into becoming the bravest duck alive!"

Roy handed Orson a watch on a chain "Use this. I found it in the farmer's drawer."

"Perfect" said Orson "This'll take care of Wade's fears."

Orson walked over to Wade who was standing in the open.

"Hey Wade!" said Orson.

"Oh hello, Orson" said Wade "What're you doing here?"

"Wade, I have found a way to cure your fears" said the pig.

"What?" asked Wade.

"Hypnosis" Orson answered.

Wade gasped "NO WAY!"

"Boys!" Orson called to Roy and the chicks "Get him!"

Roy, Booker and Sheldon jumped on Wade and held him down.

"Booker! Sheldon!" said Roy "Hold him down!"

Booker held Wade's right flipper "I've got him Uncle Roy!"

"So do I!" Sheldon held onto Wade's other flipper with his foot.

"AAAHH!" Wade screamed.

Orson waved the watch right and left "You are getting sleepy, very sleepy."

But Wade wasn't affected at all.

"No I'm not." said Wade.

"YES YOU ARE!" Orson smacked Wade with the watch.

Just then, Wade was put into a daze.

"Okay Wade," Orson waved the watch "You are no longer afraid of anything at all. You will do what I tell you!"

Orson snapped his fingers and Wade went right up to Orson and grabbed him by the neck.

"You and what army bacon face?" Wade growled at Orson.

"It worked." said Orson "Congradulations Wade, you are officially the most fearless person in the world! You won't be scared of anything else!"

Wade got up and shoved Orson out of the way "In that case, get out of the way nimrod!"

Wade stormed all around the barnyard.

"Hi Uncle Wade." Booker and Sheldon waved to him.

"Beat it squirts!" Wade kicked the chicks.

Then, Wade bumped right into Lanolin.

"Hey duck!" Lanolin poked him "Watch it! BAAAAA!"

"QUAAAAAACKK!" Wade shouted back.

Lanolin ran away in fear "Bye Wade!"

Then, Blue and Cody passed by.

"Hi Wade," said Blue.

"Wanna play fetch?" asked Cody.

"Why don't you fetch yourself a personality mutt?" Wade kicked Cody.

"Wade!" Blue gasped "What did you do that for?"

"Cause I felt like it" Wade snarled.

"Uh...okay." Blue slowly back away.

Just then, Bo waved to Wade as well.

"Hi Wade" he politely smiled.

"Beat it you cotton ball!" Wade pushed Bo out of his way.

Just then, the farmer was driving his tractor, but didn't see Wade.

"Hey you stupid tractor!" said Wade "Move it!"

Orson was reading a book in the barn when Wade stuck his head onto the window.

"Hey pig" said Wade.

"Yes, Wade?" asked Orson.

"You know how you got rid of all my fears?" Wade asked again.

"Yes" Orson nodded "Why do you ask?"

"Well give me a fear of tractors." Wade showed the tire marks on his stomach.

In a minute, Wade went out of the barn and Roy went up to Orson.

"Say Orson," said Roy "How's Wade's hypnosis coming?"

"Too well" said Orson.

"What do you mean?" asked Roy.

"Just look!" Orson pointed to where Wade was.

Wade was lying down on the train tracks on the hill of the farm. But there was a fast train coming right towards them.

"UNCLE WADE! UNCLE WADE!" Booker and Sheldon shouted "RUN! GET UP!"

"Relax" Wade said calmly.

The train was getting closer and closer, Wade was about to be flattened.

"Quick Sheldon!" said Booker "We've gotta save Uncle Wade!"

"Right behind you!" said Sheldon.

Booker and Sheldon lifted up Wade and carried him off the tracks, right before the train could hit them.

"Uncle Wade," Booker said "You were in real danger. We were afraid for you."

"Only punks are afraid." Wade said with a lot of pride "I am a duck that is never afraid."

Meanwhile, Roy was taking a walk.

"Gee," he said to himself "Orson claims to have changed Wade, I'll have to see this for myself."

Roy then saw Wade leaning on the barn wall.

"Hey Wade!" Roy shouted "Boo!"

Then, Wade grabbed Roy's beak.

"You talking to me, punk?" He looked at Roy menacingly.

Wade then hit Roy right on the beak and sent him flying into a haystack, then walked over to a tree.

"Boy," Orson thought "Wade sure is getting meaner by the minute. I sure hope I can fix this."

Just then, Orson saw Wade yelling at a tree.

"My inner tube doesn't like your looks!" Wade yelled at the tree.

"Too late" Orson sighed.

Then, Wade turned around and saw Orson.

"You looking at me bacon for brains?" Wade snapped at Orson.

"N-n-no" Orson stammered.

"Well, my inner tube says you are!" Wade barked.

"Well I'm not." Orson said nervously.

"You calling my inner tube a liar!" Wade strangled Orson.

"Uh-oh" Orson gulped.

Wade then hit Orson in the face and sent him flying into the same haystack that Roy was just getting out of.

"Lemme guess," Roy said to Orson "He got you too."

"Sorry Roy," Orson helped Roy out "Didn't see you there."

Orson and Roy got out of the haystack, ran back into the barn and grabbed the hypnosis book.

"Roy," said Orson "We've gotta change Wade back to normal before he takes over the farm. Maybe we can use this book to make him nice again."

"Give me that" Roy snatched the book from Orson's hand.

Roy walked over to Wade and hit him on the head with the book.

"AAAAHHH!" Wade screamed and ran away.

"You're right" said Roy "That book does work."

"I guess that's what they call 'applied phycology'" Orson remarked.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well Wade's back to his old cowardly self. Just goes to show that a cowardly Wade is much better than a mean Wade. But anyways, let's go back to Garfield's house and see what he's up to.**


	3. Garfield's New Leash

Our story opens as we see Jon coming back home from the store. He was holding a brown paper bag.

"This is perfect," he said to himself "Garfiled's gonna look good on this."

Jon opened up the door and saw Garfield sleeping on the TV chair.

"Oh Garfield!" he called out "I'm home."

"Hopefully with some tuna" Garfield thought.

"I've got a new present for you Garfield" Jon showed Garfield the bag.

"Hoepfully, it's a new scratching post" Garfield said in his thoughts "I've scratched my old one out."

Jon put the leash on Garfield's neck.

"Here you go buddy," Jon smiled "A genuine naugahyde leash."

Garfield gasped "How cruel! How inhumane! Do you know how many naugas they killed to make this leash?"

Jon took the leash off Garfield "We're going for a walk in an hour, I'll be back with the leash."

When Jon went upstairs, Garfield went back to his nap.

"I can't believe it," Garfield lied down "I'm a cat, not a dog. Leashes are for the dogs!"

An hour later, it was time to go on the walk. Jon was walking downstairs with the leash.

"Guess what Garfield?" he called out "It's time for out walk."

"Oh no" Garfield opened his eyes.

"Now, I have to put your leash on you so you won't get lost." Jon bent down.

Jon bent down and put the leash around Garfield's neck and boy, was Garfield angry.

"RRRROWW!" he meowed.

Garfield hissed jumped up and got Jon hog tied to the leash, with Garfield being tied to the back of Jon's head. Jon hopped across the house and fell down.

"Hang on Garfield," said Jon.

Garfield rolled his eyes "Jon, I'm tied to the back of your head, how could I not hold on?"

After a few struggles, Jon and Garfield got freed from the leash. However, the leash was still around Garfield's neck.

"Come on Garfield," said Jon "Time to go on our walk."

Jon tried to pull Garfield on the leash, but Garfield had his claws stuck to the rug.

"Never!" he kept holding his claws "Never will I submit to the biggest of all indignities. NEVER! I stand my ground."

Just then, Lyman came in the room carrying a box from the basement.

"Hey Jon," he put the box down.

"Oh hey Lyman," Jon said to Lyman.

"Where you going?" asked Lyman.

"I'm breaking Garfield to the leash" said Jon.

"He doesn't like it much, does he?" asked Lyman.

"How can you tell?" Jon sarcastically said.

After a few minutes of sturggling, Jon and Garfield finally went on their walk. Jon didn't notice this, but some pet owners were looking at them funny and some dogs were snickering at Garfield.

"I think I might loose my dignity." he sighed "And my self respect."

Jon and Garfield walked over to the supermarket. Jon tied Garfield's leash to a pole, so he wouldn't get lost.

"Garfield," he said "You wait here while I go into the store."

Jon walked into the store.

"Boy," he said to himself "Leashes are the greatest thing since sliced bread."

Garfield grabbed onto Jon's pants "Don't forget to frozen lasanga."

"Remember Garfield," Jon told his cat "Stay out here. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Jon went right into the store.

"I can't believe he would put a leash on me," Garfield looked at the leash "Cats wearing leashes! How pathetic!"

Just then, some cats walked towards Garfield.

"Hey look!" the one of the cats pointed to Garfield "Either that's a dog with pointy ears or that cat is attached to that leash."

"Very funny," Garfield looked at the cats.

"What's wrong with you pal?" the second cat glared at Garfield "Cats don't wear leashes!"

"You'd better explain yourself traitor!" the other cat showed his sharp claws.

"Believe me pal," Garfield sardonically looked at the cats "I'm being tied around this leash against my will. My owner thinks leashes are for us."

"How cruel!" the first cat hissed "How imhumane! Cats can't wear leashes! It's unethical! Unsuitable! Uncoofed! Unreliable! Uncomfortable! Un-"

"Necessary, Biff" the other cat looked at the first one "Unnecessary!"

"Listen," Garfield looked at the cats "I'll tell you what, get me outta this thing and I'll let you have some of my cat food."

"Forget it pal!" Biff and the other cat walked away "We don't help traitors."

"NO!" Garfield reached for the cats "Don't leave me here! I'm in Humilation Hell! My dignity is being lost by the second! I'm becoming a disgrace to my kind!"

Just then, Jon came out of the store with the grocery bags.

"Okay Garfield" Jon untied Garfield "Time to go home."

"Bout time" Garfield thought "I'm sick of losing my self respect."

Garfield and Jon went back home and Garfield lied down on the coffee table to forget his humiliating experience. Jon went to unpack to groceries.

"You know Garfield," he said to his cat "I think I just realized something while I was unpacking the groceries."

"What a surprise" Garfield rolled his eyes.

"I realized that leashes aren't for cats" said Jon.

"Good" Garfield walked away "There's a news flash for you. Maybe next time, he'll realize that icebergs weren't made for the Titanic."

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Just goes to show that some things weren't meant for something and that cats weren't meant to wear leashes! Get ready for another story and some more stories with Garfield and all of his friends! Stay tuned!**


End file.
